Hopefully you can relate

Not too long ago, I came across a social media account of someone who really affected me at school, who I’m going to call Imogen. I could feel the hatred burning from her eyes towards me when I was at school. I would say this girl was quite popular, and what really confused me was that some people she was friends with were genuinely nice people. Did that make her a nice person who just had a problem with me?

So, very soon after discovering her account, I sent a (to be fair, confrontational) message to her, basically asking why she acted this way towards me.

I expected her to either deny she ever behaved badly towards me, or come up with some sort of excuse as to why. 

What she actually did, was completely deny that she ever knew me, suggesting I had got the wrong Imogen, despite the many many photos of her on her account, and accuse me of being attention seeking.

At first, I was completely enraged. How dare she insult my intelligence by claiming I’d got the wrong person? That was low, even for her. Also, I regretted sending the message so quickly, because reading it back, I could see how that by saying how much it affected me, it could have caused her to feel like she had power over me, which made me feel even more livid.

Soon after, some people in my family said it wasn’t really a good idea to confront these sorts of people. I found myself sort of regretting ever sending the message.

One of the only things that comforted me during these many weeks of anger, was that by saying I was attention seeking she was basically confirming that there was at least something wrong with her attitude, not mine. 

However, I still felt I hadn’t really made much progress. It wasn’t until a few months later, by looking more into her social media, that I found that she reacted positively to some other people’s very nasty posts. So maybe after all, she just wasn’t a nice person.

Even though the response was far from what I’d hoped for,  and I still didn’t achieve the main goal of finding out why she picked on me, it did, in an unconventional type of way, give me some much needed clarity, and now it genuinely doesn’t bother me as much.

Although, as a side note, I would advise against anyone trying to confront someone who seriously upset them, as well as people whose mental health could be significantly affected by their response/ lack of response. Trust me, a bad response/no response REALLY hurts!!

Anyway, hopefully you can relate.

If anyone has experienced something similar, I’d love to hear about it in the comments!!

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